Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I have decided to no longer apologize, feel bad, or guilty for being poor, in love, and trying to live a difficult life that will bring me joy. Yes, I have been lucky but people are lucky in all sorts of things: it is up to YOU to look around you to recognize your own riches, whatever that may be, and to take advantage of them. Yes, I have chosen a difficult path, which means sacrifice. Yes, it is true, I have chosen an even more difficult path on top of the already stressful, difficult life I was born with. But the truth is what I will put in now will pay off later in my life, if I am so lucky. So many people expect instant gratification for thier work and efforts. A truly meaningful life does not fit into this expectation. I have known those who complain about having to earn thier career, food, housing, art supplies, and everything else, as if that is owed to you? We all want to earn our keep in this world by doing what we love, but we need to WORK to get to a place where we are lucky enough to earn money AND fulfill our happiness. In the meantime, you are not a victim. If I were to look at my 10 years of working like that, I would have shot myself in the temple already. I have had to work for every stitch of clothing, every grocery item, everybill, every paintbrush, every particle of heated air in my own home for years, this is all while trying to maintain a life : friends, family, environment, and not to mention this little thing called college and ART. I can say I am done apologizing for having a hard life and have (possibly) coming out on the other side better for it. For those of you just now having to earn your way through life (whatever that means: money, career, responsibility, art), figure it out but do not blame the rest of the world for your position. Consider yourself lucky enough to NOT to have had to do that your entire life. Consider yourself lucky enough to have been born into a world that allowed you the ability to worry/work on a handful things in your life at a time, opposed to carrying a crippling weight on your shoulders, as I have for years. We all are lucky in our own way, and in the areas you feel luck has not touched you, MAKE your own luck. Maybe I have been hardened by my stressful life, but I feel I have earned anything blissful that has come my way. I have debt, both theoretically and financially, that I must pay for my bliss. Nothing is life is free, really, and for my life I have consequences. Be thankful, and make your own way. I have decided to celebrate my accomplishments and failures alike, because without them, I would be you instead of me, and that would be tragic.